Thanks and Appreciation: Kind and Generous

Natalie Merchant: Kind and Generous

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When I first heard this song on the radio I thought it was catchy, but corny. I did like it though. I had always thought it was probably ultimately a song to thank a parent for bringing her up in a loving home. Then I saw Natalie perform at Lilith Fair in 1998 and as her closing song she performed this and she sang it so genuinely to the crowd and I thought "wow, this is a beautiful song to end a set with. She is thanking her fans, her audiences for making her career and way of life possible, for filling it with support and praise". So, perhaps when she wrote it she was writing it for a song to close performances with or perhaps it is to a parent, but regardless it is an overarching song that you can think is for anyone and everyone that it applies to in your own life.
Thank you, thank you.

Thanks and Appreciation: Thanks For the Boogie Ride

Erin McKeown: Thanks For the Boogie Ride

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My first response to this week’s theme was to realize that I had used three of my best choices for a post on my own blog, Oliver di Place. My next thought was that there are many songs of the “thank you for your love” variety. At that point, a procession of truly terrible pop songs began to play in my head. It seems that love is an overwrought emotional state that is always slow, has far too many strings, features truly ghastly oversinging, and all to mask a set of uninspired lyrics that need every production trick in the book to disguise their banality. So I resolved to seek out songs of thankfulness for things other than love.

But it has been bothering me. My experience of love has been nothing like this. It came on in a rush, accelerating every thing around me. It was not padded, but pure, and overwhelming but not complicated. Thinking about this, I remembered Thanks For the Boogie Ride. Erin McKeown nails exactly what I was feeling.

Gene Krupa Big Band with Anita O‘Day: Thanks For the Boogie Ride

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Just to check, I wanted a look at the lyrics. It turns out that they are not easy to find. I did, but not before I learned that the song was a cover. Here is the original version. It turns out that there is some interesting history here. In the big band era, most bands had a featured singer. Usually female, she would not even be on stage for the fast numbers, while the crowds jitterbugged away. She would come out only to sing the slow numbers. Anita O’Day was the first to change that. O’Day sang the fast numbers as well, and therefore became a full-fledged member of the band. Thanks For the Boogie Ride, from 1941, is a fine example of this “new sound”.

Thanks and Appreciation: Thanksgiving Song

Mary Chapin Carpenter: Thanksgiving Song

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I know we don't usually submit new songs, but I hope everyone can forgive the exception - in April 2007, Mary Chapin Carpenter experienced a serious health scare, and I have no doubt this song, from last year's Come Darkness, Come Light CD, was inspired by the difficulty...

Below is MCC's This I Believe essay for NPR's Weekend Edition, Sunday June 24, 2007 - wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and may grace surround and enfold you... on this day, and always...

"I believe in what I learned at the grocery store.

Eight weeks ago, I was released from the hospital after suffering a pulmonary embolism. I had just finished a tour and a week after returning home, severe chest pain and terrible breathlessness landed me in the ER. A scan revealed blood clots in my lungs.

Everyone told me how lucky I was. A pulmonary embolism can take your life in an instant. I was familiar enough with the medical term, but not familiar with the pain, the fear and the depression that followed.

Everything I had been looking forward to came to a screeching halt. I had to cancel my upcoming tour. I had to let my musicians and crew members go. The record company, the booking agency: I felt that I had let everyone down.

But there was nothing to do but get out of the hospital, go home and get well.

I tried hard to see my unexpected time off as a gift, but I would open a novel and couldn't concentrate. I would turn on the radio, then shut if off. Familiar clouds gathered above my head, and I couldn't make them go away with a pill or a movie or a walk. This unexpected time was becoming a curse, filling me with anxiety, fear and self-loathing — all of the ingredients of the darkness that is depression.

Sometimes, it's the smile of a stranger that helps. Sometimes it's a phone call from a long absent friend, checking on you. I found my lifeline at the grocery store.

One morning, the young man who rang up my groceries and asked me if I wanted paper or plastic also told me to enjoy the rest of my day. I looked at him and I knew he meant it. It stopped me in my tracks. I went out and I sat in my car and cried.

What I want more than ever is to appreciate that I have this day, and tomorrow and hopefully days beyond that. I am experiencing the learning curve of gratitude.

I don't want to say "have a nice day" like a robot. I don't want to get mad at the elderly driver in front of me. I don't want to go crazy when my Internet access is messed up. I don't want to be jealous of someone else's success. You could say that this litany of sins indicates that I don't want to be human. The learning curve of gratitude, however, is showing me exactly how human I am.

I don't know if my doctors will ever be able to give me the precise reason why I had a life-threatening illness. I do know that the young man in the grocery store reminded me that every day is all there is, and that is my belief.

Tonight I will cook dinner, tell my husband how much I love him, curl up with the dogs, watch the sun go down over the mountains and climb into bed. I will think about how uncomplicated it all is. I will wonder at how it took me my entire life to appreciate just one day."

Thanks and Appreciation: Thank You World

World Party: Thank You World

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I was a senior in college in 1990, and my (and the country's) environmental consciousness was at a pre-global warming high point. I was heavily involved in a student environmental group, and was well on my way to becoming a vegetarian. When Goodbye Jumbo, the second album from Karl Wallinger's World Party, came out I was hooked on the addictive hit single "Way Down Now" and its Rolling Stones-aping bass line. But the gem that closed the album, "Thank You World," struck the deepest chord. Over three simple verses, Karl shares his love for, and appreciation of, Mother Earth. I could dig it then, and I can dig it now. Thank you, world. Hope we haven't broken ya.

Thanks and Appreciation: Uncle

Norman Blake: Uncle

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Uncle tells the tale of a man who briefly but profoundly touched the life of the narrator. I don’t know the back story on this one, but this song feels autobiographical to me. In hard times, his uncle came to live with the family. He did amazing things that helped put food on the table. But more importantly, this seems to me to be a thank you to the man who inspired Blake to become a professional musician. The final image of the old fiddle in its case says it all.

Thanks and Appreciation: Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Maurice Chevalier: Thank Heaven For Little Girls

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Of all the things I'm thankful for, my daughters top the list; in a rare display of personal sentiment, that's them pictured above, with their best friend Arwen on a cold Cape Cod beach this summer.

This Maurice Chevalier "original" first entered our house as the opening track to That's What Little Girls Are Made Of, an eclectic collection of songs for fathers of daughters, and so that's what I've linked to above; it's one of the first kid-friendly albums I actually enjoyed, and though it gets sappy at times, I highly recommend it for all sensitive new fathers of tiny little girls.

But let's be honest: I'm posting this song today because I was sorely tempted to post it LAST week, as a coda of sorts to our Jailbait theme, with a comment on how changing cultural context can reframe the way a song sounds to its audience. After all, though this song was originally composed for the 1958 cinematic musical Gigi, where it was surely heard as sweetly as intended, it's worth remembering that in the film, the "little girl" Gigi grows up to become the love interest for her mentor; one reason that the play is seldom performed in this day and age may be that, to modern ears, a lyric which celebrates little girls primarily because they grow up to be big girls sets off some pretty serious alarm bells.

Indeed, I've long maintained that our current post-PC world would never allow such a song to be recorded without irony... and as if for proof, I offer the following grungy, hard-rocking, guitar-drenched cover from The Films, which practically drools with modern subtext. Don't say I didn't warn you...

The Films: Thank Heaven For Little Girls

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Thanks and Appreciation: Prayer 2000

Eliza Gilkyson: Prayer 2000

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Today's offering is a tip of the proverbial hat to Vesta_66, who chimed in last week with how much she (guessing on the gender) appreciates the "wisdom, maturity and respect" of the SMM contributors and commenters (as well as specifically likes the music of Eliza Gilkyson) - thanks for reading, enjoying and sticking around...

I've previously described my circuitous route of discovering female contemporary folk artists, from Joan Baez to Dar and beyond - a seminal influence in my growth process was The Women of Kerrville CD, from which I was introduced to the music of Susan Werner, Cheryl Wheeler, Catie Curtis and so many more. As soon as I heard Eliza's breaking voice and aching lyrics, I knew I had to find out more... and rushed right out to buy Redemption Road (prior to her Red House Records label signing) - I now own all of her catalog, but that remains a favorite, 10+ years later...

Prayer 2000 is an homage to all the gifts of nature and nurture we tend to take for granted... with a more than melancholy nod to the "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" philosophy - it is a reminder that we wouldn't recognize the joy without the sorrow with which to compare, and that the cycles of contrast are what mold and bless us, even (or maybe especially) in what feels like the blackest/bleakest time...

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." - perspective is everything...

Thanks And Appreciation: Thanksgiving Day

Johnny Dowd: Thanksgiving Day

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"You don’t have to be a rock star to have fun,
You don’t have to be a soldier to carry a gun,
You don’t have to be a postman to mail a letter,
Be content with your life - it may not get any better..."

Says it all really. This comes from Johnny Dowd´s wonderful debut album Wrong Side Of Memphis, which he recorded at the ripe age of fifty. Wisdom does come with age I guess.

Jailbait: Don’t Stand So Close To Me

The Police: Don‘t Stand So Close To Me

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Like Susan, I was taken aback when I saw our theme for this week. How did we get here so soon after Domestic Violence week? But, I didn’t have to deal with it right away. I had work to do for my own blog, that occupied most of the start of this week. And then Susan’s post appeared. So I needed more time to figure out how I wanted to deal with the Jailbait problem.

For me, it was not clear cut. Yes, many jailbait songs objectify young women. And, as my daughter just started high school this year, I can condone that less than ever. And yet, I do have a fondness for some of those songs. I can remember my high school days, and I know that my hormones gave me just that point of view for quite some time. I’m not proud of it, but I am honest about it. And that became a key for me.

Don’t Stand So Close To Me is a perfect example. Sting gives the listener both points of view, and both teacher and student find themselves in the throes of lust. It is obvious to all around them, and becomes the subject of rumors and accusations. And yet, they never do anything about it. The both know they should not, and somehow they resist. But that does not help their reputations.

I like the fact that Sting is honest about his characters’ feelings. They both recognize what they are feeling; perhaps they even discuss it during that rainy-day car ride. And perhaps they agree not to let it go any further. But the feeling is powerful, and it scares them. When Sting sings “...he starts to shake and cough, just like the old man in that book by Nabakov”, his character is feeling fear at the power of his own emotions.

One final thought. Many years ago, I read an interview with V C Andrews. Andrews was the author of Flowers In The Attic, which was the beginning of a series of books in which adults in positions of responsibility did horrifying things to the children in their care. Andrews was asked, in light of this, what kind of mother she was. She replied that she thought she was an excellent mother, because whenever she had the urge to do anything to her children, instead she wrote a book. So maybe, in listening to a jailbait song, we can vicariously work through our feelings of lust, so that we never act on these feelings in inappropriate ways.

Jailbait: I Know What Kind of Love This Is

Cry Cry Cry: I Know What Kind of Love This Is

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I had originally been saving this song until the end of the week. But the diversity of posts so far - and the way in which each of us has come to the table using this week's theme to wrestle so well with a difficult issue - makes me feel the time is ripe sooner rather than later.

So here is folk supergroup Cry Cry Cry with a potent, poignant interpretation of a song originally by The Nields. The lyrics are so focused on the inner life of the young female narrator, they never name the ages of the people involved - it's never been clear to me if the experienced male perpetrator here is older, or even a teacher, or just a cool kid disdainfully deflowering a younger student because she feels like it will put an end to "a lifetime of wallflower shade" - but the song certainly speaks to the self-loathing which follows those who allow sex to happen to them too early because they think it's what they're supposed to do. In my mind, this is the swan song of the "jailbait" - originally willing, because sex seems to offer power; ultimately full of regret, with the important lesson learned too late.

I hope someday my daughters will hear this song, and recognize it for what it is, and learn from it that self-worth is never about what other people say is right. I hope they will learn to only say yes when it is in their hearts, and not in their supposed-to social minds. I hope they never, ever feel like the narrator of this song. And if it were not for this song, AND for the ability to point at songs which seem to celebrate jailbait lust, and say "is this really what you want?", I might not be able to say so as well.

*****

More generally, I want to take personal responsibility for picking this week's theme, and apologize for offending anyone in doing so. My intent was not to celebrate, but to provoke exactly the kind of unique and varied perspectives and voices which Anne points to so effectively in her recent post. I'm glad to see this has been the case - that no one seems to have come salivating, and that everyone, in their own way, has use the opportunity to expose the various cultural evils of the complex of juvenile fetishism that is so prevalent in our society. But this is no excuse for potentially alienating anyone, or creating discomfort, and I commit to working to try not to do that again.

That said: I accept that some people feel that the act of perpetuating the songs themselves celebrates an aspect of our culture - the media images which fetishize preteen sexuality, and the myriad of other princess and barbie and sexpot images which encourage us all to make unhealthy choices which hurt ourselves and others - which would be better destroyed, and as soon as possible at that. But as a teacher and parent, I happen to feel otherwise. I believe that pointing TO such things and speaking of them in critical ways is better and more effective in reaching the heart and mind of a culture than merely preaching. I believe that confronting such cultural problems, especially those perpetuated through the media, is difficult, but necessary, for pretending that such things don't exist is a way to let them fester.

And I think that our responses this week have only reinforced my belief that it is, in the end, our recognition that such songs are there which makes it possible at all for us to take up the mantle of saying "no" to such things. Without the exemplar, our lessons are that much more hollow. It is, as we've seen this week, the words we share here, not just the songs we choose or the themes we take on, which truly allow this space to be a sounding board, a space for discomfort to be shared as much as song, even a force for good.

But regardless of what you believe, readers and fellow contributors alike, I am proud of all of us - to Susan for coming forward with an anti-jailbait song perfectly on theme, and for bringing the conversation around to change; to Muruch for giving us a chance to out ourselves through confronting the songs and songwriters we love for perpetuating a malicious mindset; to everyone else for refusing to celebrate the sentiment even from our very first post, regardless of how we have each chosen to frame our own individual approaches. Being a part of this community has never felt so much like world-changing as it does this week. And though changing the world one discussion at a time can be a difficult path for all of us, it feels damn good, at that.

Jailbait: Little Dudes

Pee Shy: Little Dudes

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The strength of this blog is in the unique and varied perspectives it brings together through music. When we find out the theme each week, it is our own responsibility to interpret it the way we see fit, and different song choices show different sides to the same story. Posts like Susan's yesterday give us that perspective and allow this blog to not just be a grouping of random music, but also a place for people to express themselves.

That being said, I thought I'd offer a perspective that had yet to be touched upon this week, that of an older woman with her eyes on a younger man. These days the media can't talk about "cougars" enough, that is, the woman in her 40s who actively pursues younger men sexually or otherwise, and there's also been a lot of media attention about younger men with the hots for older women as well. In this song's case, it's mostly tongue-in-cheek, but what it does is creep you out enough to realize there's still a double standard.

Pee Shy was a Tampa, Florida based band in the late 90's. Two spoken-word poets with little musical experience are determined to start a band, and do so with a clarinet and an accordion. Their music is both artistic, and yet somewhat comical. So, despite the serious nature of the subject, the song is also sort of funny. Being a girl whose boyfriend is a good 5 years younger than her (which, over time isn't a big deal, but when you're 26 and he's just turning 21, it feels like a big difference), I understand the appeal of the younger man. As the song says, "they never try to tell you what to do", and they seem to be more in awe of the more mature woman's interest in them. I imagine the ladies in the song hanging out at an arcade or other high school haunt basking in the glow of their own influence and power to romantically intimidate the boys. Not to mention getting from them things they've not been able to get from men their own age, namely respect and admiration. So, are they taking advantage of these boys or doing anything against the law? No. But the point of the song, to me, is also that it creeps people out more to hear this than it would if it were a man singing about a girl.

Jailbait: Don't Do It Department

Jim Croce: Five Short Minutes

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Steve Goodman: Death Of A Salesman

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Here are two more musical examples that show what can happen to a guy who involves himself with under aged girls. And again, as in my previous post, neither of these condone, but rather they show the consequences.